All I'll Ever Need Read online

  “You—” Edward was about to return the compliment but his voice was stilled by the pressure of Alex’s warm, soft lips on his and he let himself be lost in the sensual pleasure of the moment.

  * * * *

  When Alex had first seen the slim, blond young man standing at the bar, he’d had a moment of déjà vu. Seven years had passed since he’d met Hank, and there was something about Edward that reminded him of Hank. Not so much physically, beyond the fact that they were both blond and blue-eyed—more perhaps in the way he felt drawn to Edward just as he had been drawn to Hank, all those years ago. That chance encounter in another bar, another time, had resulted in his going home with Hank—and never leaving for over five years, until that fateful night when his whole world had been turned upside down, and he’d thought it would never be all right again.

  He didn’t want to think about Hank right then. There was still too much pain involved in those memories. And now—was it too soon to be doing this—holding this extremely good-looking young man in his arms and kissing him like there was no tomorrow? But the kisses were definitely having a blurring effect on his reasoning, especially as Edward gave back as good as he was getting. Edward’s lips were warm and soft and succulent, and his tongue that he had at first pressed shyly against the seam of Alex’s lips too enticing to resist. Alex opened to him and their tongues glided and tangled and explored every hot, moist corner of each other’s mouths.

  Their kiss deepened and Alex could sense a kind of desperation in Edward, as if he hadn’t had this kind of intimacy before, or at least for a long time. The way he clung to him, almost like he was afraid Alex would suddenly pull back and end their embrace. He tightened his arms around Edward. If he was right about Edward’s apprehension, he wanted to assure him there was no danger of that happening. However uncertain he was of his own emotions, he instinctively knew Edward needed this, and Alex wasn’t about to be the one to disappoint him.

  After gently breaking their kiss, he undid the buttons of Edward’s shirt then brushed his lips over the smooth skin he had exposed. Edward shivered and an almost inaudible gasp escaped him.

  Alex ran his thumb lightly over Edward’s lower lip. “Have you not done this before?”

  “Not with someone like you.”

  “Someone like me?” Alex smiled. “What does that mean?”

  The blue gaze Edward cast at Alex was achingly earnest. “Someone as—as handsome as you.” It was obvious to Alex from the shadowed expression on Edward’s face that although he was making light of his answer, this emotionally vulnerable young man harbored some bad memories. “This is the first time I’ve felt—” Edward looked away and his cheeks flushed scarlet.

  “It’s okay,” Alex said softly. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

  Edward looked back at him. “Like this is perfect, you know? The way I always thought it would, should be. Being held and kissed with no sign of—of disgust or shame afterward.”

  “Disgust?” Alex couldn’t keep the shock out of his voice. “How on earth could anyone be disgusted by you?” He cupped Edward’s face within his hands and kissed the corner of Edward’s mouth. “You are a beautiful young man, Edward, and so far from disgusting I can’t imagine anyone thinking otherwise. Only if they were perhaps ashamed and disgusted with themselves, but that’s their problem, not yours.”

  “Unfortunately, they made it my problem, but—” He dropped his gaze again. “I’m spoiling things with my whining. I don’t know why I said all of that in the middle of what we were doing.”

  “Are doing,” Alex said, smiling. “We’re not going to stop any time soon, if you don’t want to.”

  “Oh, God, I don’t want you to—stop, that is.”

  “Okay, where was I?” Alex gave a deep chuckle. “Ah yes, I was about to lick those perky little nipples of yours.” He leaned in to do just that, but as even as he enjoyed feasting on the tiny hard nubs he made a mental note to encourage Edward to talk more of his past, and perhaps help him put to rest some of the demons that apparently still troubled him.

  Edward moaned, his body writhing from the sensations that coursed through him at the sensuous touch of Alex’s lips and tongue. He’d known from the brief kiss they’d shared on the dance floor that he wanted to have sex with this man. Sex that for the first time he could really lose himself in without the threat of scary repercussions. Without flinching from the harsh words and rough actions that had followed his abortive few attempts to find pleasure with another man. There was nothing remotely threatening about Alex—except that if he kept on kissing and caressing Edward so expertly there was danger all right. He would come far too quickly and the exquisite thrill of being with this—was it too sappy to even think it?— dream come true, would be over long before he was ready. A whimper escaped his throat and he grabbed the hand unbuckling his belt.

  Alex raised his head, his expression questioning.

  “I, I want you to, but I’m afraid I-I’ll come—”

  Alex chuckled. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

  “But not so soon.”

  “Just relax. Enjoy.” He nuzzled again at Edward’s nipples then kissed his way over Edward’s abdomen, stopping just short of the belt buckle. He glanced up with a teasing smile and slowly undid first the belt, then the zipper. Edward gulped on a sharp intake of breath. He didn’t think his erection could get any harder, but as Alex traced the bulging outline of the rigid length with his lips, through the white cotton of Edward’s briefs, he felt as if it might have done just that. His body trembled with anticipation and his heart hammered so loudly, the sound thrummed in his ears.

  He almost came off the couch at the first touch of Alex’s lips on the head of his cock. Alex took all of him in one long smooth glide right down to the base. The effect was like nothing Edward had felt before. The moist heat that surrounded his pulsing shaft, the sensuous sensation of Alex’s tongue stroking him up and down brought a scalding surge straight into his balls.

  “Oh, God…” He delved his fingers into Alex’s thick hair as much to caress as to warn him he was losing control—the danger was imminent. “Alex.” He squirmed, trying to get away, but Alex held him tight and increased the power of his sucking, taking him into the depths of his throat. Edward let out a hoarse cry, arching his body into his orgasm, powerless to hold back any longer. His mind went into free fall, the darkness behind his tightly closed eyes suddenly shot through with a brilliant kaleidoscope of colors. He gasped and shuddered in the throes of the most amazing climax he’d ever experienced made even more mind-blowing by Alex’s persistence in holding him in his mouth and draining every drop from him.

  As he slowly wound down from his high, Alex traced a tingling trail of kisses up Edward’s torso until he reached his mouth, then settled a long, languorous kiss on his lips.

  “Okay?” he whispered when he pulled back slightly.

  “Okay?” Edward repeated, widening his eyes. “That was—well, it was totally incredible. I’ve never come like that before, and I’m sorry, I tried to warn you but—”

  “Shush…” Alex put a finger over Edward’s lips. “You did nothing I didn’t also want. You taste delicious, by the way.”

  “I’d like to return the favor,” Edward said shyly. He slipped his hands under the T-shirt Alex still wore, and ran his hands over the man’s muscular back.

  “Mmm… I think we should get out of these clothes, don’t you? Maybe make use of the bed. Would you like that?”

  Edward nodded. “Very much.”

  “Good.” Alex rose and stretched his long, lean body like a cat. He held out a hand to Edward. “Come on then. Let me lead you to my lair.”

  Edward took the proffered hand and stood up. “Your lair—sounds exciting.”

  “That’s what I’m going for.” He hooked an arm round Edward’s waist and led him toward a door on the far side of the living room. “Oh, can I get you something to drink?”

  “Maybe just some water.”
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  “I’ll go get a couple of bottles. Let me just turn on a light for you.” He pushed the door open and flipped a switch on the wall, bathing the room in a soft glow. “There— Don’t start without me.”

  Edward chuckled. “No chance of that happening.” He glanced around the room and again was impressed with the size and the stylish décor, but mostly with the king-size bed covered in a richly patterned comforter. Wow, this is so nice. He shucked off his shirt and threw it onto a nearby chair. He sat down to remove his shoes and socks, then slipped out of his jeans. He kept his briefs on, feeling just a little unsure about stripping down to the buff. Funny really after what we’ve been doing. But his innate shyness still made him hesitate to stand around in the nude without Alex there to encourage him.

  “Here we go.” Alex hurried in carrying two bottles of water, one of which he gave to Edward. “Mmm, you have one fine body,” he added, eyeing Edward’s physique up and down and making him squirm under the scrutiny. “Don’t blush. You work out. You know what you’ve got there.” He ran a hand over Edward’s hard abs. “Very nice.” He leaned in to suck on Edward’s left nipple. Edward could feel his second arousal building inside him, hardening his cock again. But he couldn’t just stand there and let Alex do all the work again. More than anything, he wanted to see what that black T-shirt only hinted at.

  “Let me.” He slipped his hands under the hem of the tee and tugged it upwards while Alex raised his arms to let Edward pull the shirt over his head. Edward flung it on top of his clothes then directed his attention to the lithe, muscular contours of Alex’s chest and abdomen. “Beautiful,” he murmured, running a finger between Alex’s pectoral muscles then circling each nipple before flicking his tongue over the tiny nubs. Alex moaned and caressed the back of Edward’s head. Edward licked and kissed his way down Alex’s solidly muscled torso then knelt before him and pressed his lips to the hard bulge behind the fabric of Alex’s jeans. He trembled with breathless anticipation as he undid the button fly then inched the denim down over Alex’s slim hips.

  This was so different from the time when he’d given his first blow job and the man had grabbed him painfully by the hair and forcibly jammed him face first into his hairy groin then pushed his hardness into Edward’s mouth, forcing it down his throat, making him gag and splutter with revulsion. Now, Edward had the pleasurable feeling that he was in control, that with Alex there would be no crude power-play or unwanted demands made upon him.

  He released Alex’s hard shaft from the confines of his briefs and held it in both hands. He gazed at it for a few moments to admire its girth and upward curve then he caressed the silky skin, relishing the powerful pulsing he felt in his grip. He leaned in to kiss the head, rubbing the pre-cum at the slit over his lips. Slowly, sensually, he brought the head of Alex’s shaft into his mouth.

  A long, throaty moan escaped Alex and he wound his fingers through Edward’s hair. Edward looked up, and to his delight saw that Alex’s eyes were closed, his expression one of apparent ecstasy. His hips bucked forward, and Edward sucked the thick length all the way into his mouth, his tongue swirling over the throbbing flesh until he reached the root and its thatch of dark hair. He buried his nose in the scent of Alex’s maleness, the slightly spicy musk filling his senses, causing his own cock to harden again to an almost painful degree. He pulled back, almost releasing the head from his mouth before gliding back down, at the same time cupping Alex’s firm butt and pulling him in even deeper so he could clench his throat muscles round the tip of Alex’s shaft.

  Alex shuddered and Edward knew he was close. His excitement grew along with his anticipation of tasting Alex for the first time. He sucked long and hard, rolling his tongue over the ultrasensitive glans behind Alex’s cockhead.

  “Oh, Jesus, Edward, I’m coming!” The moan that sounded like it was torn from Alex’s throat increased Edward’s eagerness and he resisted Alex’s attempt to draw back, holding him in place by wrapping his arms around Alex’s hips. The first surge of semen on his soft palate took him by surprise, but he welcomed it and greedily swallowed as Alex emptied his balls into Edward’s mouth.

  Alex breathed out a long gasp, then lifting Edward to his feet, he took his lips in a long, ardent kiss that allowed them to share the salty taste.

  “You are amazing,” Alex murmured against Edward’s lips. “For someone who says he hasn’t done this very often, you give wonderful head.”

  “I…” Edward looked away for a moment, and his cheeks flamed. “I’ve watched a lot of porn.”

  Alex chuckled. “And I get the benefit of it, lucky me.”

  “I’ve never enjoyed it this much before.”

  Alex kissed him again. “Come on, let’s lie on the bed so I can hold you properly.” He stepped out of his jeans and briefs that were pooled around his feet and kicked them aside. He lifted Edward into his arms and Edward responded by holding on tight and wrapping his legs around Alex’s hips. They shared another kiss as Alex walked them over to the bed. He sat down on the edge, Edward on his lap, the hard wedge of his cock probing the cleft between Edward’s ass cheeks. Edward shivered with desire. It was going to happen. Alex was going to fuck him and he couldn’t be more excited—and more terrified.

  You have to put the memories of the last time away, he told himself. Thinking about that bastard could ruin everything. And what he wanted more than anything was for it to be as perfect as it all had been up to this moment.

  “You’re nervous,” Alex said, his lips on Edward’s ear. “I told you nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.”

  “I do want it. I want you to fuck me. It’s just that…”

  “Bad experience?”

  “Something like that, yes.”

  “Then we’ll go slow, and if you tell me to stop, I will. I promise.” He took Edward’s lips again in a long, searing kiss. At the same time he fell back onto the bed with Edward on top then he rolled him onto his side, never breaking their kiss.

  Edward was a mess of breathless expectation. He wanted this, almost to the point of desperation, but was he prepared for the agonizing pain he knew came as an inevitable part of being fucked—even by someone as beautiful as this man who now held him so protectively in his arms? Alex had said he’d go slow, and he was sure he could trust him to do just as he’d promised.

  Alex eased him onto his back and began a slow and sensuous trail of kisses from Edward’s mouth down his throat, over his chest, ravishing each nipple with lips and teeth until the tiny nubs tingled almost to the point of pain. Edward writhed under him, his body undulating with pleasure he’d only dreamt could be his. Never, even in his wildest fantasies, had he ever believed that one day a man would make love to him like this. Especially one as gorgeous as Alex. It was almost too good to be true. He was afraid to close his eyes in case this was just a dream and he would wake up and find himself alone in his rented room, Alex a mere figment of his imagination. But the warm, smooth skin and firm muscle under his hands were real all right, real enough to enflame him with an almost uncontrollable desire.

  Alex shifted slightly in order to slip between Edward’s legs. He gripped Edward’s erection lightly at the base and Edward’s breath hitched in his chest when he felt Alex’s lips nuzzle his balls. He gasped when Alex sucked the delicate sac into his mouth, teasing each ball with his lips and tongue, the rush of ecstasy almost blinding in its intensity. That intensity was heightened when Alex trailed his tongue over the sensitive skin of Edward’s perineum then lifted Edward’s legs to gain access to the cleft between his buttocks. Edward fisted the sheets, trying to control the climax that threatened to overcome him at any moment. Alex circled Edward’s pucker with the tip of his tongue then pushed past the ring of muscle guarding his hole, and Edward felt he might just come apart at the seams.

  A hoarse cry of sheer, wanton pleasure was ripped from him as Alex continued to rim him, laving his opening with forceful probes that brought sensations Edward had never believed he’d ever e
xperience. He’d only ever seen men do this in porn movies, had longed to know what it would feel like, but this—this beat all and any of his imaginings. The intensity increased when Alex inserted a finger along with his tongue, expertly finding Edward’s prostate, massaging it gently.

  Edward moaned and a veritable stream of pre-cum leaked from his cock, pooling in his navel. He thought he might lose control any moment so it was almost a relief when Alex pulled back then reached across to the nightstand. He felt a flutter of nerves in his stomach when he realized Alex was tearing open a condom packet. Watching as Alex eased the latex over the powerful upward curve of his cock, he bit down on his lower lip, trying to contain his anxiety. He wanted to enjoy this, but, perhaps even more importantly, he wanted Alex to enjoy it too, so that this wouldn’t end up being just a one-night stand.

  “Relax,” Alex whispered and leaned down to kiss his lips gently. “You look tense. I promise if you don’t like it I will stop. Don’t try to be a hero and grin and bear it. This is something you should enjoy. It might hurt some at the beginning, but I’ll go slow and it’ll feel good, okay?

  Edward nodded and encircled Alex’s hips with his legs in acceptance. He shivered a little when Alex inserted a lubed finger inside him.

  “Okay?”

  “Yes. Feels nice. Real nice.”

  Alex moved his finger in and out in a gentle but firm rhythmic motion that had Edward pushing willingly against the erotic pressure of Alex’s sure strokes. He put his hand behind Alex’s head and pulled him in for a kiss. With Alex’s lips on his he felt transported, sure he would experience nothing but pleasure when Alex entered him. Then the moment he’d been longing for with eager anticipation, mixed with not a little apprehension came when he felt the head of Alex’s cock nudge at his opening then force its way past the ring of muscle that guarded his hole.